Facing Fear
My Life with Horses
Patience, responsibility, deep love, respect, awe, challenges, courage, focus, determination, these are the words that come to mind when I think about my lifelong journey with horses. It began when I was very young. I couldn’t have been older than eight when my father, as an avocation, became involved with racehorses.
Every weekend, before the sun rose, he and I could be found at the “back of the track —the stabling area where all the behind-the-scenes activity took place. I have vivid memories of those mornings, some wonderful, some not. My father also brought me along to breeding farms in upstate New York. Those visits were not my favorite; I was often left while he met with the horsemen and walked off, leaving me in the middle of a field to wait.
Once, when he was in a hurry, he stuffed my pockets full of carrots and left me standing there. As I stared up at the cloudless blue sky, I noticed a large shadow creeping toward me. Clouds? No. A whole herd of horses had come to investigate the little girl with her jeans full of carrots. I screamed from sheer fright. Off in the distance, my dad and the other men heard me and ran. I was in trouble, and no apology came from my dad. In that moment, I was certain horses would not be part of my life, which was perfectly fine with me. Or so I thought.
My father had very little patience for fear. Not immediately, but in time, he brought horses back into my life. My parents were too busy to start with ponies, so it wasn’t until my mid-teens that my father decided riding would be in my best interest. In his mind, it would force me to face something I once feared, while also teaching responsibility, focus, and the importance of listening, not just to an instructor, but to the horse.
Through racing contacts, he was introduced to a former Olympic rider. This rider, who didn’t exactly have a barn structured for teaching, agreed to take me on. How my father persuaded him, I’ll never know. The horses in this small private barn were unlike anything I had ever seen. They were magnificent. Some were his retired Olympic competitors, each with a distinct personality. I was intrigued and, honestly, in awe.
These were far from typical lessons. He was tough, especially because he had me learning on one of his retired Olympic jumpers. Everything had to be perfect: my position, my hands, my leg, the way I asked the horse to move. This was no ordinary school horse—this was a horse that won Olympic medals and required precision and respect.
Then one morning, I arrived to find a new horse already tacked up. He was to be mine. One of the best I’ve ever owned. A gentleman, kind, patient, and honest. His name was Just Abe, Abe for short, that name tells you everything. We were perfectly paired, especially in the hunter ring.
My fear had been conquered, my father’s objective achieved. Eventually, I asked to move on to a more “normal” stable with riders my own age. But those early years shaped everything to come.
And so began my deep, enduring love for an animal I once believed I’d never want in my life. Horses teach you more than you can imagine.
Fast-Forward to a Wish
I always wondered what it would feel like to own that one-of-a-kind show hunter, the complete package. That dream became real when Lafitte De Muze entered my life.
I have been at a show barn in New Jersey for nearly a decade. I had arrived at this stable with an imported stallion from Germany for the trainer to show, but due to soundness issues, he had to be retired. I told my trainer, “I have one more horse in me.” And with that, the search began.
She flew to Germany and tried Lafitte; she knew immediately. He was the one. Although he is Dutch-bred, he was in Germany at the time. He was everything I ever dreamed of in a horse. As an owner, having a horse like Lafitte is the greatest privilege.
But I believed his impact could extend beyond ribbons and derbies. I wanted to find an organization dedicated to the horses who are often forgotten, the unwanted, the at-risk, the ones in danger of being sent across the border. That’s when I found the EQUUS Foundation. Their mission spoke to me: supporting horses given a second chance as therapy partners, assisting small rescue stables in need of funding, and shining light on the plight of wild horses being rounded up in the Midwest.
I pitched an idea: a horse helping other horses in need of a lifeline. And that horse would be Lafitte.
I committed to donating his show earnings to EQUUS to help broaden their outreach. He became their first ambassador—a role he carried with grace for eight years. It was an incredibly gratifying partnership; one that my trainer and I were both deeply proud of. I once said, “Every once in a while, something crosses your path and changes your life forever.” This would be Laffite
Lafitte was the horse I always wondered if I’d be lucky enough to own. My wish came true.
He is, in every sense, my Lucky Star.